i don't need a crown to be a princess.. it comes naturally :P

take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*

03 March 2006
9:08:00 PM

woah..

ang tagal since i last updated! di ko pa na-post ung xmas wishlist ko haha! rar.. sobrang dami ng stuff na ginagawa namin.. im tired! :( sad.. hay.. stress! wah.. im about to break down na.. why? kasi nawala ang formal theme ko sa pinoi.. the one na iniyakan ko kasi na-late at iniyakan ulit dahil nawala.. so, 3 times ko xa iniyakan! yay 0_o

bakit ako biglang nagblog ulit? actually.. i dunno.. dati addict ako dito.. parang walang dumaan na araw na hindi ako nagblog.. pero ewan.. all of a sudden, nawala ung drive.. parang.. gusto ko nalang manahimik.. i wanted to isolate myself from everyone else.. tapos ngayon, feeling ko sasabog ako kung di ako maglalabas ng mga iniisip ko..

these days, all i wanna do is sleep.. i wanna be buried under the covers.. pero.. parang ayoko na rin dito sa bahay na toh.. everything is a mess.. im a mess.. who am i? i feel weird.. are other people going through wat im going through? sometimes i feel like im giving too much of myself.. to the point that there's nothing left for me.. my time.. my attention.. a lot more.. im like a ghost.. just drifting by.. lost in a sea of random faces.. i keep wondering what lies ahead for me.. kanina sobrang sabog ako.. wala ako sa sarili.. i stutter, mess up when talking, misplace things, forget stuff... whats happening to me? cant i just take a break from it all?

i dont know where i wanna go.. who i wanna be... which direction to take.. what choices to make.. there are so many things i dont know.. i just.. i dont know.. *sigh*

ang dami kong iniisip.. people from my past continue to haunt me.. sometimes i regret the decisions i made.. pero after a while, i ask myself why i chose them.. i feel sad that im not in good terms with someone.. im sad because i can feel bonds breaking.. the promise of forever fading.. wilting.. love turned into hatred.. i can feel it.. hostility crushes my optimism.. im losing hope.. everytime our eyes meet, i have to look away.. not because i don't want to look at you.. but because each time i do, tears begin to well up.. they say that time heals all wounds.. but the wounds i have in my heart can only heal when you want them to.. again, i'm sorry.. these words could mean nothing to you.. but i want you to know that it's sincere..

hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*