take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
17 March 2006
7:26:00 PM
17
today is the 17th of march.. its supposed to be a happy day.. it started out happy.. but then.. biglang nawala.. i spent most of today with maan, pats and quibabs :) don't get me wrong.. i adore those girls :) but i can't help but think about how happier my day would be if he was with me.. i don't understand.. i really don't.. why are we being kept apart? how come i was given false hope? akala ko tlga i'd be able to spend the day with him.. we don't even have to go out.. we could stay at home and talk.. just be together.. my parents are also wondering why he didn't go..
they say that if there's a will, there's a way.. so why is this clichÉ suddenly not applicable? :( i know he wanted to go.. im xur of that.. what i dont get is why god didnt provide us the means to be with each other.. ang labo..
i feel so down.. nothing seems to be able to cheer me up.. imagine, for the first time in my life, i finished all 3 stages of time crisis 2 alone 0_o i was the only one playing.. if i did that on another day, i'd probably leap for joy haha but noooooo.. i was thinking "yay for me..." and that was that.. i would like to thank whoever created "she's the man".. that movie SO made me laugh :D duke is hot haha sharing.. pats had an "experience" hahaha funny :) we had our pics taken.. actually parang yan lang ung nangyari.. labo :P oh well.. tomorrow is another day.. sana wag boring 0_o
oh.. im not mad.. im just.. disappointed.. i feel as though a lot of bad things have been happening to me lately.. im at the bottom of the wheel right now.. hopefully i'll live through this..
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
03 March 2006
9:08:00 PM
woah..
ang tagal since i last updated! di ko pa na-post ung xmas wishlist ko haha! rar.. sobrang dami ng stuff na ginagawa namin.. im tired! :( sad.. hay.. stress! wah.. im about to break down na.. why? kasi nawala ang formal theme ko sa pinoi.. the one na iniyakan ko kasi na-late at iniyakan ulit dahil nawala.. so, 3 times ko xa iniyakan! yay 0_o
bakit ako biglang nagblog ulit? actually.. i dunno.. dati addict ako dito.. parang walang dumaan na araw na hindi ako nagblog.. pero ewan.. all of a sudden, nawala ung drive.. parang.. gusto ko nalang manahimik.. i wanted to isolate myself from everyone else.. tapos ngayon, feeling ko sasabog ako kung di ako maglalabas ng mga iniisip ko..
these days, all i wanna do is sleep.. i wanna be buried under the covers.. pero.. parang ayoko na rin dito sa bahay na toh.. everything is a mess.. im a mess.. who am i? i feel weird.. are other people going through wat im going through? sometimes i feel like im giving too much of myself.. to the point that there's nothing left for me.. my time.. my attention.. a lot more.. im like a ghost.. just drifting by.. lost in a sea of random faces.. i keep wondering what lies ahead for me.. kanina sobrang sabog ako.. wala ako sa sarili.. i stutter, mess up when talking, misplace things, forget stuff... whats happening to me? cant i just take a break from it all?
i dont know where i wanna go.. who i wanna be... which direction to take.. what choices to make.. there are so many things i dont know.. i just.. i dont know.. *sigh*
ang dami kong iniisip.. people from my past continue to haunt me.. sometimes i regret the decisions i made.. pero after a while, i ask myself why i chose them.. i feel sad that im not in good terms with someone.. im sad because i can feel bonds breaking.. the promise of forever fading.. wilting.. love turned into hatred.. i can feel it.. hostility crushes my optimism.. im losing hope.. everytime our eyes meet, i have to look away.. not because i don't want to look at you.. but because each time i do, tears begin to well up.. they say that time heals all wounds.. but the wounds i have in my heart can only heal when you want them to.. again, i'm sorry.. these words could mean nothing to you.. but i want you to know that it's sincere..
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
09 December 2005
9:06:00 PM
yay xmas season!
omg.. exams na next week!! *scream* im still not feeling it.. kainis naman.. i really dont wanna take our exams.. ok duh.. as if naman may student na nag-eenjoy mag exams 0_o haha! i feel severely pressured.. grabe.. cge tanong mo ko.. ano oras na ko nakatulog? uhm.. 1am lang naman......
ang sooper dami ng requirements! *sniff sniff* tapos siniksik lahat sa 3rd qtr nice one! isipin mo nman.. may chem jingle, chem scrapbook, chem xmas card, english lit analysis, english termpaper, geom scrapbook, rel proj, sulating pormal at impormal, longtests, quizzes and our presentation of merchant of venice damn.. sobrang sabog na utak ko.. lusaw na ata.. makuleeeet T_T hindi pa yan ata lhat ng requirements e.. alam ko i missed out some of the others.. ayoko na pare!! give up na ko ;( pwde bang tama na?? grabe.. tapos puro meeting pa ng yp.. wah..
feeling ko magkakasakit ako.. kung ndi man, emotional breakdown.. kanina kaya nung pinoi, umiyak na ko.. pano ba naman kasi.. ung sulating pormal ko, naiwan ko sa bahay.. e duh! pinagpuyatan ko un noh! sobrang pinuno ko ung page.. pinaghirapan ko un!! tagalog un!!! ang hirap kaya magsulat pag tagalog!!! i worked on that for over an hour.. tapos biglang, maiiwan ko lang?! stupid 0_o so late ako nakapagpass.. great.......
kanina we practiced for merchant.. ang hirap pala pag musical.. klangan ng more time!!! and they actually expect us to present act 3 in 10 mins flat?! yeah ryyyyyyyyt.. e scene 2 palang ang haba na e.. ang dami ko nang parts na pinutol.. dami nang lines na cut.. wah.. sana umabot kami.. sana naman i-cut ng act 2 ung play nila.. mygad.. 7 scenes din un!! tapos ang bagal pa magsalita ni morocco whatever T_T please...
so in fairness ang haba ng entry na toh.. sorry na.. daming nangyari e.. haha! :D fun stuff? uhm..
dec 3 asteeg :D after ng class, betti and i went to sm to watch just like heaven :D then we crashed the mc fair haha sort of?? di naman kami nakapasok e!! fricking dress code *grumble* then we met up with the others and watched adarna.. we: me, betti, ishi, arra, kaye, dana, dianne, neng, kuya, nikko, jorel, mara, bea, janpi, mon, cheska haha! :D sooper fun ng day na un!! i miss you guys already ;) after the play, umuwi na ung iba.. ang natira: me, betti, dianne, nikko, kuya, mara, bea, jorel, janpi :) naglakad muna kami sa ateneo.. ang ganda tlga ng admu sa gabi :D aww.. pretty lights haha ako nama'y naging insekto haha attracted sa ilaw :P memorable line: "i see the light! and its white!" haha c betti nalang makakaintindi nyan ;) heehee yikes stalker! hahahaha
pumunta na kaming eastwood :) too bad bea and jorel couldn't join us for dinner.. aww.. sayang!! as usual, di nanaman kami makapili kung saan kakain.. our solution? paikutin ako sa kalagitnaan ng eastwood hanggang sa mahilo.. tapos kung saan ako nakaharap, dun kami! :P game naman ako! haha pinanindigan ang pagiging spontaneous ;) we ended up at jack's loft.. B) kewlness.. tapos sobrang funny dun.. parehas lang kami lahat ng inorder.. nice one! :P ang hyper ko nung sat! mygad.. para daw akong nakainom ng kape *giggles* haha at sa lagay na yan, i wanted starbucks! :D
walang tigil akong nagsabi ng: "picture!!!" ;) i ended up impulsively buying new havs haha ung cute na may parrot!! feeling ko misyon ko sa buhay ang magkaroon ng havaianas na may ibon hahahah LABO-ATION! ;) anyway, sooper duper fun :D dapat maulit.. hopefully kasama na siya.. :) para more fun.. grabe i miss them na!! kulto and kulto friends i miss yoU!!! :D
dec 4 sunday :) skipped aikido kasi nonoy had a soccer game :D against ateneo hahaha im not telling who won :P tito ramon is finally here!! yay yay yay! :D he lives in madrid kasi.. wah ang layo.. funny kasi he and lola were talking to me sa car.. sabi nila, punta daw akong europe 0_o yeah xuuuuuuuuur hahaha in my dreams! :P tapos we ate at kimpura.. where we saw sila mark and gia funny kasi we saw them the day before nung sibol haha small world! :P tapos we ate at floydd's *drool* haha! i wanted to watch chicken little.. e they wanted to go home na.. so i stayed at promenade with yaya :) bonding?? haha aliw.. kaming dalawa lang nanood :P i felt like a lil girl.. haha yaya was following me everywhere.. aww :) saw marie's friend carla at fully booked.. small world nga tlga :P wla lang..
so i guess this awfully long entry is detailed enough *cough cough* haha ttfn.. HUGS ALL AROUND! :) xmas wishlist soon to be posted ;)
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
28 November 2005
10:09:00 PM
palihan tom :)
i've been dead bored the whole fricking day.. wala na kong ginawa kundi magsulat ng notes sa socsci at chem.. i tried doing the chem exercises but i dunno.. i cant answer some of the questions.. this is what i get for meticulously taking down notes?! 0_o the irony of it all..
our dsl had topak kanina.. kaya nman ngaun lang ako nakablog.. tss.. i dont feel good right now.. not just because my neck and throat hurt.. but cuz of some other stuff... like, we have school na tomorrow.. bummer 0_o so un-kewl.. cant wait for xmas break..
im back to being sorta insomniac haha! :P last "night" i slept past 1am.. haha nice noh? hay.. i find it weird that i have 2 people following me as i cross the street.. kanina kasi nics called.. magdala daw ako ng candies tom for the kids.. so i said ok :) shopping for candy? sounds like fun! :D haha so i crossed our street to the mini mart.. grabe, sinundan ako ng guard namin.. tapos si manang, nakabantay din.. labo-ation.. doi! im just gonna cross the street!!! 0_o wyrd.. i had to go the other store to get the candy.. tawa ako ng tawa kanina :P kuya rey has a new uniform haha its white.. niloloko ko siya.. driver ng bus mwahaha :P
oh oh oh!! random stuff:
we watched prime yesterday.. haha! kasama ko c mom, dad and mara.. daming uh.. "not suitable for kids" scenes 0_o so we were going out of the cinema.. and dad goes like, "wag muna kayo mag boyfriend boyfriend ha.. mag aral muna" *insert fits of giggles here* comedy.. hindi mo lang alam dad :P *cough cough*
another scene.. nasa car kami.. dad tickles kate :P
kate: tama na! paluin kita!!
me: ano gagamitin mo pamalo kay dad?
kate: SINTON!
mom n me: ano? ano??
kate: SINTRON!!!
mom: say sin-tu-ron
kate: chintron :P
another scene.. we're in the car ulit.. we pass by jollibee
borgy: wow! Salibee!!!
we pass by another branch of jollibee
borgy: gusto ko ng joBilee!!! :P
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
27 November 2005
3:32:00 PM
dsl is back! haha
kewlness tlga.. naayos na rin ang dsl dito sa house B) oh yeah! haha
i've been hella busy with fricking school stuff for the past who-knows days.. damn.. ilang araw na ko puyat!!! garr-ness.. un-fricking-believable!! thank god for the long weekend.. haha!
went to isay's party yesterday.. cutie! :P hawaiian theme.. aliw! haha so everyone was wearing floral clothes :P we had leis too! i wore a dress ;) *cough cough* ohmygad.. im turning into a girly gurl!! *screams* and then.. *coughs* yes i have a fricking cough.. it just wont go away!!! ilang araw na ko umiinom ng gamot.. tss..
anyhow, i've been dying to update this thing.. i seriously need to change my layout haha! betti where are you?! :P i need photoshop skills hahaha or at least, someone who has them.. *hint hint* ;) ano baaaaaa
so much has changed since.. i dunno.. first year? :P haha im not the shirt-jeans-rubbershoes gurl anymore.. i remember swearing that i'd never wear a skirt if i dont have to.. :P yeah ryyyyyt.. i've been more sociable and sooper daldal too :P i have more control over my internet-hungry self :) at least now i dont sleep at 2am cuz of fricking chat hahaha sharing :D why am i saying all this useless stuff? haha *bangag mode: off*
thats better ;) im soooooo looking forward to next weekend!! wonder why hahaha something life-altering is gonna happen.. :P nevmind!
tinambakan ako ng hw.. does mercy still exist in the faculty's vocab?? i dont think so 0_o frick tlga.. hay nako.. tuesday palihan! :D yay yay yay! hahaha another reach-out day / gb pictorial *ahem!*
tapos na kami magbake :D ang sarap ng brownies na ginawa ng group ko ;) tapos na rin kami mag chem research thing.. who knew nakakapagod pala gumamit ng calorimeter? tss.. :P
we're gonna watch prime daw later.. i miss rockwell :) gotta get new shoes.. kasi kasi.. wla lang :P hala! i want the pink skirt i saw ages ago i know what i want for xmas na.. a pink creative zen micro! :D with matching pink earphones and travel dock ;) or pink speakers.. haha! what's with me and PINK?! of all the colors namaaaaaan.. gurly gurl n tlga ko.. yikes! haha
i chose tiles na nga pala for my bathroom.. purple!!! :P but my room is gonna be pink haha im excited na :D weeeeeeee! i wanna decorate it na.. mom says i can get my own computer.. sana pati phone line ;) although thats out of the question :P haha tigilan!
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
20 November 2005
6:32:00 PM
can anyone understand?
i was so emotional last night that i ended up making a sonnet.. its my first one.. be nice and gimme constructive criticism..
Oblivion
Tell me why I live in this dream
Where every step I take
Brings me closer to my despondent state
My hands tied behind my back
Tears flowing like a river would
My head bowed in sorrow
Eyes forbidden to meet the stars
Darkness envelopes me completely
The cold wind sends shivers down my spine
Lips trembling like a child's
Slowly your dagger finds my heart
Pierces it ever so gently
Unkowingly
You remain in oblivion
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
09 November 2005
6:55:00 PM
oh wow :P
fam day was a blast! haha had so much fun bonding with all my friends :D i got to introduce him to them na.. yay! im glad they like him haha gym pre rocks! asteeg tlga iii6!!! guys, im so proud of us! :D we won 1st runner up ;) hard work does pay off hahaha congrats to iii5 for being the champions :D ano b nangyari nung 29? hmm... mostly rides and inflatables haha nkakabangag pa rin ang kada kalog :P miss ko na kayooo
nung sem break, fun fun fun din :D we went to iloilo nung sunday and stayed there until thursday.. i miss swimming there haha i miss the house!!! i miss ate mary's cooking :P i miss my sooper kulit cousins too haha we went to boracay nung friday :D feel na feel kong summer hahaha labo.. ang init kc e.. tpos ang saya sa beach :P henna! haha di namin nagawa mga tradition ng fam ko.. like snorkeling and eating at our fave restos there.. o well :) there's always next time :P nalaman ko nga pala na tito ramon is visiting this december! :D yay yay yay!!! haha miss ko na xa.. i wanna go diving again! haha lola is funny.. she wants to send me and mara to spain to stay with tito ramon haha kaming 2 lang.. no adults to come with us haha sounds fun ;P pero feeling ko tgal pa matutupad yan.. 0_o i have to learn spanish first.. tsss
we've been practicing for the dance all week.. hectic! haha nakakapagod tlga.. we go home past 6 na.. tapos we have hw and quizzes to study for.. woosh.. but i guess its worth it :D sobrang bonding ang nangyayari every practice.. its like you learn something new about your friends as time passes by :) nagka pasa ako nung monday though.. waah.. nilagyan kasi ng breakdance ung steps namin.. so may isang time na nagppractice kami ng 6 step tapos i landed hard on my knee.. 0_o garr.. but then again, no pain no gain! haha kahapon naman, we decided on a name na.. proud ako haha ako nakahanap ng word sa dictionary :P QUOTA! nice noh? haha aliw.. kanina nagpractice ulit kami.. wala nga lang ung ate ni tronky ronky ;) haha sabay sabay na kami! tapos gets na rin namin ung steps.. :) asteeg ung chorus part! woohoo! haha may freaky thing nga pala na nangyari kahapon.. nagbrown out sa basement!! as in paalis na kami.. nakatambay kami sa bench.. tapos biglang namatay ung mga ilaw!! e past 6 na nun T_T so imagine nalang kung gano ka-dilim nung time na un.... freaky! tapos may nangyari.. i wont elaborate nlng..
feel ko na mag breakdance haha! roz kasi e! :P she taught me how to do a headstand kanina.. muntik na!! haha konti nalang daw magagawa ko na :P yay! bukas ulit try ko haha im so tired!!! 3 straight days of endless stretching and dancing.. weeee.. di kaya pumayat na ko?? hahaha im excited to do our geom and chem projs :D pero i cant start today.. i need artsy stuff :P more colored paper please! ;) chem naman we have to make a christmas song with chem concepts 0_o hmmm..
today is a wonderful day haha parang everything is in my favor :P nakapagrecite na rin ako sa wakas sa pinoi.. haha! achievement?? tapos my chem quizzes have never been better ;P love this day! haha msaya pa talaga kanina nung practice kc nagkukulitan kami :P im excited na for saturday! weeeeeeee :D
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
22 October 2005
10:23:00 AM
lapit na gym pre!
woah.. grabe this week! haha last weekend, todo shopping spree ;) nbigay na ung exam results haha yay! i got the highest in all the subjs except pinoi :P haha *ego = inflating* yikes! haha thats 7 out of 8 exams.. kewlness B) heehee
puro practice for the gym pre.. nkakapagod! pero in fairness ha.. tapos na kami! yay! so next week, puro "polishing" nlng haha :D im sooper happy haha nhahappy nanaman ako :P despite the sore throat, colds, headache, bruise, bump on the head and slight fever, im doing great! haha all thanks to the gym pre :P bwahaha wla lang haha ano ba yan.. ang bangag ko nanaman..
we're still practicing our dance for the bandfest :) ang kewl tlga.. haha monday daw ulit practice.. weeeeee :) i love this week.. i've been talking to my prince almost everyday :D yay haha *sings: love love love love love love love makes the world go round* cute tlga ni bubbles hahaha
yesterday, lumabas kami ni pie, karol and vane.. yellowcab tapos starbucks :) naka2happy haha labo.. im excited for later haha wonder why :P *cough cough* grabe nice noh? first time ata na morning ako nagblog haha weeeee.. im hungry :P haven't had breakfast yet heehee o well.. i miss a lot of people!!! haha
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
13 October 2005
5:31:00 PM
hell week is so over!!! :D
whew.. natapos din sa wakas ang aming paghihirap! :P haha tues, geom and english.. my fave subjs haha i loved the geom exam :P if you can believe that.. haha english sucked :( 13 pages pare!!! torture T_T hay.. that afternoon, i went to quibabs' house.. nauna ako e.. kumain kc sa labas ung kada.. so i was aimlessly walking along kanlaon for like, i dunno, 20 mins?? haha stayed there from 1:30 to 5.. yikes! haha i taught chem :P feeling teacher!!! hahaha aliw nga e.. kc we had a mini whiteboard ;) hiyes! haha pag uwi ko, i swear, i was sleepy na tlga! haha tpos wla na ko boses 0_o yikes! haha i studied chem ulit tapos talasalitaan ng pinoi selections :D bagay pag di ko tlga binuklat ung noli ko?? haha miraculously, the next day, mdali lng chem and fil :D love it! haha when i got home, i was so not in the mood to study.. kaya aun.. nood muna ng dvd ni quibabs :P haha tpos hang out lang sa room until mga 5? then mara and i raided the kitchen ;) heehee cguro mga 9 na ko nagstart magreview!! haha tamad tlga ko..
cguro mga 8 palang inaantok na ko.. garr.. labo-ation! :P i ended up reviewing rel for an hour and socsci for half an hour 0_o yay.. i slept a bit earlier than usual :)
today, we had the 2 exams.. magkasunod! T_T weeee.. wla man lang study period in between! tsk2.. after recess, we had the mass.. :) dami nanamang pauso ng stc haha aliw :P we got dismissed mga 12:30 na.. gmick day today! haha pumunta kami sa kfc :) we relived the "barubal days" haha i miss kada kalog!!! :D mga 2 kami natapos maglunch haha quibabs and i went to ichizen.. sinundo namin c maan, trisha at bianx :) then we went to starbucks.. too bad di na nakasama c trisha :( aww.. o well.. bangag kami sa starbucks! haha as in sobra!! haha lakas ng topak namin kanina ;) name ko sa mocha frap: princess! haha c bianx: prettyness! nice noh? :P haha c maan nakakatawa e.. binura ung name nya sa cup.. naging moon! haha labo.. bsta un.. comedy :P
we went to heights na.. pic!!! haha yikes :P aliw.. kahit 4 lang kami.. haha bonding pa rin sa stc.. 3 na nga lang kami kasi pumunta na c quibabs sa house nila ishi.. uy ii2, kung binabasa nyo toh, sowee tlga di na ko nakasunod :( paalam ko kasi hanggang 4 lang.. sowee!! bawi ako next time :)
im excited for tom :D no classes kasi.. gb gmick! haha galle here we come ;) haha oh yeah!
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
take my HAND; and GUIDE me through*
09 October 2005
8:45:00 PM
corpse bride..
woke up at 8.. haha wow.. i actually woke up! :P we had aikido.. wala lang.. review for the exams next next sunday :D this is gonna sound sooper wyrd.. pero meron akong aikidomate na sooper bango :P hahaha as in! he's soooo mbango!! :P hahahaha i cant stop wondering what perfume he's wearing :P its so light and just.. wow haha labo.. bsta.. naeexcite tuloy ako mag aikido dahil sa kanya pabango niya :P major labo-ation! once ko palang xa naging partner sa exercises ni sensei.. sana lagi ko xang partner!!! ang bango2 kasi hahahahah labo.. ano b yan.. nbabangag ako :P
after aikido, we attended mass.. then we went to shang :D we ate at my fave resto! trattoria!!! haha we ate my fave too :P i wont tell nlng haha then we went around a bit.. tapos we watched corpse bride.. then we went around some more.. tpos aun.. we went home na :)
gmick daw kami sa 22.. louie, marie, me and the other sep people.. :) sana matuloy.. i really miss my dearest and my dudders :D
hold me TIGHT; and NEVER let go*
